“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Jesus in Matthew 7:12 NIV).
Surely the words of Jesus (similarly reported by Luke) set a broad and inescapable measure for his people in their interactions. All of their interactions. (It may also be valued by other people.)
Even in marriage? !
Then there is more:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:3-10 NIV).
Taken with the “do to others” direction, this provides a picture of marriage in practice. Again, this is for those who belong to Jesus and aim to please him.
I note the shock his disciples received when Jesus said the above. Why was it so shocking? Their response must reflect the attitude of their culture. A male-dominated culture, lacking equality. A culture which did fell short of reflecting God's plans for humanity. Of course there were people who lived more closely in alignment with the Maker's directions. For example, we have glimpses of them in Luke chapters 1 and 2, and elsewhere.
Jesus strongly (and alarmingly to hearers) had said God’s actual marriage plan is a created unity of a man and woman. This is not how my society’s marriage legislation sees it. (The power that is, may, and does, make different laws from time to time.)
Jesus insisted on the Law and the Prophets (of the Old Testament). It is remarkable for him to say that the Mosaic easy male divorce provision was in contrast with God's plan. Men had been given a "way out"... However, they even then needed to see all of the Law and know that they could be breaking the Word of God in their practice. Note again that alarmed response about marriage from those sympathetic followers. (For 2026, Jesus' words pose difficult issues of conscience.)
Regrettably, I recently read a report on a Christian pastor preaching from the Pauline passage below that for sex in Christian marriage there was/is no question of consent by the wife.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (NIV) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
In particular, the Pastor alleged, there is no need of the sexual consent of the wife in the partnership. (I did not hear the words spoken; I read a report on a Pastor in Southwestern Sydney, Australia.)
This kind of talk is disappointing wherever it is spoken and is concerning to me. I hope that anyone with such views who aims to follow Jesus and is getting married makes quite clear to their prospective partner that this is how they intend to conduct themselves. Full disclosure, please!
And yet Paul was surely reflecting his Teacher, Jesus. Does not the passage itself actually insist on mutual rights in relation to sex? Mutual. That was quite unheard of - for a woman to have authority over a man! Authority - the old English version had “power” in rendering of those lines (see below).
Also from Paul there are other passages to consider, such as 1 Corinthians 13 on love, and, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:12 NIV).
It is not surprising that extra weight should be given by Paul to prescribing to men and women such a mutual path. A mutual path. Equality for women and men in marriage.
Looking again at the particular authority quoted by the Pastor (and others) in support of their views of “satisfy his full and deep sexual needs”:
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise (also) the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way (likewise also), the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4 NIV). Here I have followed Peppiatt (2019) and added the English equivalent of the words in the Greek text. They are faithfully translated, even though the English may not read as well.
The mutual notion was/is strongly stated by using additional words we might see as redundant.
They had problems in Corinth at that time and sex was part of it. Surely a careful reader of the text can see that Paul is directing his converts to take a mutual view of their marriage relationship.
To any believing wife unfortunately disempowered by their believing husband holding to the male dominant interpretation I am rejecting above, I can only say I am sorry and pray. You know that God loves you. You know that God loves your husband. God does not love selfish behaviour. Of course you pray. Can you talk? Is there anyone else who is acceptable and could take up with your husband your adversity? Could counselling be a possibility? What are your options?
To any husband who has been following that dominant line taken by the preacher/pastor, I can sincerely say, please reconsider. Look carefully at the basis to your view of your wife. Can you talk about it? Are you able to be in willing and joyful agreement? See the injunction found in 1st Peter: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7 NLT). Whilst not all wives might be physically weaker, all are to be honoured and met with understanding.
In order to know and apply the truth of the matter (God's Truth) it is necessary to carefully and prayerfully read the relevant Scriptures. The reader can ask for the guidance of God's Holy Spirit, and use assistance from reliable and accessible people.
Various translations of the selections above of follow. You may wish to compare them.
“Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. A wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his wife instead of to himself”
( 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 CEV).
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does (1 Corinthians 7:3-4 ESV).
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4 NLT).
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4 NIV).
Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife (1 Corinthians 7:3-4 ASV).
In everything do to others as you would have them do to you, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Jesus, in Matthew 7:12 NRSVUE).
May you be blessed by God
Allen Hampton
Peppiatt, Lucy, Rediscovering Scripture’s Vision for Women, Downers Grove, Il, IVP Academic, 2019, p95
Scripture quotations marked (ASV) are from the American Standard Version, 1901. Public Domain.
Scripture quotations marked (CEV) are from the Contemporary English Version Copyright © 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by Permission.
Scripture quotations marked (CSB) are from the Christian Standard Bible. Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible®, and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers, all rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NRSVUE) are from the New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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Bible passages by copy and paste courtesy BibleGateway.com
Edited 07/10/2026
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